Kicking Against the Goads

Acts 26:14–15 We all fell to the ground, and I heard a voice saying to me in Aramaic, ‘Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me? It is hard for you to kick against the goads.’ Then I asked, ‘Who are you, Lord?’ I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting,’ the Lord replied.

goad (noun)
1. A long stick with a pointed end used for prodding animals.
2. An agent or means of prodding or urging; a stimulus.

 

Ah, the ultimate image of rebellion.  It's like when a parent tells a child not to touch the hot pan, what does the kid do?  They grab it and get hurt.

Kicking against the goads is like that.  Imagine begin an ox pulling a plow.  The master is using a goad (a cattle prod, if you will.) to get you to go where he wants you to go, but you, being a rebellious and disobedient ox, start to kick.  Who do you think kicking against the cattle prod hurts?  Surely, it doesn't hurt the master, it hurts the ox.

I am a youth pastor.  Last night I saw Saul.  He was right there in front of me in the form of an 18 year old kid.  Like Saul, he had grown up in church.  Unlike Saul, he had fallen away from the faith the last few years. (Saul never fell away from the faith, he just killed Christians in the name of Judaism.) 

This young man and a friend came to the youth group for the first time last night.  They both sat in back and were as close to the door as you can possibly be.  At that point the difference between the two became apparent.

Let me explain, first, I am not a normal youth pastor.  I don't, for the most part, just get up and read a passage and talk about it.  I like to, on occasion, act out a parable or something like that.  Last night I taught on Matthew 25, the Parable of the Ten Virgins.  I had a couple girls act out the rolls of the foolish and wise virgins, and a couple guys act out the rolls of the bridegroom and the herald for the bridegroom, and I was the humble, yet exceedingly talented narrator :)

As I started the mayhem, and it was truly mayhem, this young mans friend came up and joined the rest of the group.  He was getting into the way this lesson was being taught.

Now the young man I am talking about though, got even closer to the door, and after I was done with the narrative he got up and walked out.  He came back a couple minutes later.  Sat for a few minutes and walked out again.  Rinse and repeat.

I talked to him after the class, and he apologized for leaving, but, he told me he can't handle religion.  I asked why.  He told me about growing up in church and how his mom really beat religion into him (metaphorically beat of course, not literally).  So now he is rebelling against that which his mom thrust on him.

Rebellion is a funny thing.  You think you are rebelling against bondage, but all you are doing is getting yourself bound up all the more tight.  Most of the time, the thing you are rebelling against is the very thing that could, indeed, give you freedom. 

If you are in a spiral of rebellion, I want to encourage you to step out of that cycle and make peace with that thing you are rebelling against.  It may just be the thing that sets you free.

 

Dive Deep!

Music to My Ears

There are many things that are music to my ears.

I love hearing members of my family telling me that they love me. I love hearing birds in the morning, etc., etc. These things are those that most of us love to hear.

I'm not addressing those things today. Today I want to talk about actual music.

My wife and I are on the Praise and Worship team at our church. We have actually started to record some of our original songs that we've put together over the years. So far, this has been a very rewarding pursuit, as I believe that we have put together some of the best praise and worship music out there.

Yes, several of our songs are cheesy and hokey, but most of them are not. They reflect different times in our walks and the struggles that we've gone through.

This sets the stage for something that I was able to do last night. I took the first song that we recorded (after much mastering) and created a ring tone for my cell phone! (If anyone wants it leave me a comment and I'll get you a copy of the tone.)

Now, when my phone rings, the music to my ears is my wife's beautiful singing voice and my bass (as well as everyone else on the team)!

This is exciting for me because I love what I do with the worship team. If I could make a career of playing music, I would. I am completely aware that at the tender age of 35 that I am a little past my prime as far as performing in the music industry, but it would be fun.

At least in the short term I get to hear something that I helped create every time my phone rings, and that my friends, is music to my ears.

Dive Deep,

Shaun

In Perpituity

Many people laugh at me when I tell them that I am a wrestling fan. More so in times past than I am now, but I remain a fan.

Today one of my favorite wrestlers and his family were found dead at their home in Atlanta.

Chris Benoit was a great wrestler. There was really no one else like him. He gave 100%, 100% of the time. Even when he wasn't a face, I liked him. He was, probably, the greatest wrestler to this point in history.

I know from interviews and what not that he adored his family. Today, they died, as they lived, together. I'm saddened for the extended families and the friends. I didn't know him. I don't know if I would have liked him or not, I don't know.

However, he has entertained me for years and now I am sad that he will no longer be able to do that for me and the fans that he loved.

Anyway, I just wanted to vent a little. Chris, Nancy and Daniel Benoit, we shall miss you.

**Update**
As more information about this incident come to light, I feel that I have to append this post. While nothing can lessen the achievements of Chris Benoit in the ring, I must change my stance on his family.

Here are the things I don't understand:

1. How do you look into your 7 year old's eyes and kill him? I have a 6 year old. When I look at him, I see all of the things he could be. All of the things that would make him better than me. It's my job to make sure he is in an environment that will allow him to reach his full potential. I could never do anything to hurt him, much less take his life.
2. How do you do the same thing with your wife? The woman who you loved enough to want to grow old with. The woman who went through child birth to give you your spitting image. I don't understand that.
3. How do you then take your own life? Call me a coward, but I don't think I could ever get to the point where I would seriously consider it.

As I watched the tribute to Chris Benoit last night on Monday Night Raw, I saw many wrestlers give testimony on how he effected their lives. There were a couple that were very heart warming, and a couple that were actually very revealing of the man who killed his 7 year old son, his wife and ultimately himself.

When Chavo Guerrero spoke about finding his uncle Eddie's body and then spending time with Chris before their deaths and how both men effected his life and how Chris wasn't just like family to him, he was family. That was touching.

When Dean Melenko spoke of how private and how quite Chris was, it was telling.

I don't know what happened to Chris. I don't know what he was going through personally. I don't know if there were outside influences (drugs, alcohol) involved in his decision making. Truly, I don't know.

I also don't know where he stood spiritually, I didn't know the man, but his actions give clues, even if they don't speak the whole story. When Eddie Guerrero died, he died a Christian. He had given his life to Christ a couple of years earlier and he was living for Christ. When Road Warrior Hawk died, he died a Christian. I don't know about Chris Benoit, but his actions say he was not. I don't know this for certain, I am not his judge, I will not make the judgement. Saying that, I hope that there is mercy shown to him, just as I hope that there is mercy shown to me for my mistakes.

Anyway. Chris, you murdering fool, may God have mercy on your soul.

Using Local Microsoft SQL Server Reporting Services in ASP.Net

This post has now become an article ASP Alliance. You can view it at ASP Alliance Article.

Chucky Jesus

I've highlighted my oldest and my youngest kids in prior posts. Tonight I want to focus on my middle son.

Well, as you may recall I have nick names for my three sons. The Hurricane, The Tornado and Godzilla.

The Tornado is three years old and he is one of the funniest kids you'll ever meet. He's really noisy and actually has a pretty good singing voice for a three year old.

Tonight he came to me and asked, "Can we go to Chucky Jesus?" I was floored, I was like, "Where?" "Chucky Jesus", was his reply.

"Who is Chucky Jesus?", I said.

"Chucky Jesus."

"What do you want to do at Chucky Jesus'?"

"Play."

"Ok, But who is Chucky Jesus?"

"The Mouse."

It started to occur to me that he was talking about Chucky Cheeses.

"Ok, Tornado, do want to go to Chucky Cheeses?"

"Yes, Daddy. I want to play games."

Well, next weekend we will be going to visit the big rat and playing some games. I'm looking forward to it. It's a lot of fun to watch the natural disasters and Godzilla run around that place and have a blast.

Fathers Day

This is always a weird time of year for me. I'm torn between my past and my present and there is a battle inside of me.

My past is sad, in that I've never known my Father.

My present is very happy, in that I have 3 beautiful boys of my own now.

The conflict over being a Dad and never having an example of a dad is always present on Fathers Day.

I'm not going to write a whole lot. I think that ultimately the best way to describe how I feel is to listen to the latest message from my church. Toward the end of the message, I take time away from the sound board and my recording duties to go up and talk about my past, and my present. I said it much better there than I ever could here.

Here is a link to the podcast for Family Fellowship Christian Center and the actual message.

Magesty in the Mundane

There is magesty in everyday life. Sometimes it's something big, sometimes it's taking time to notice the little things.

An example of real life, big time, show of the hand of God, in my life was when my mom was diagnosed with Uterine Cancer (at least the early stages..l pre-cancer). She had second-opinions, everything came back agreeing with the diagnosis, so she had a historectemy. The doctor who performed the historectemy said she didn't need it, as there was no trace... yes, NO TRACE of the pre-cancer cells. There was no indication that anything was wrong with her uterus at all. We had been praying for weeks, thanking God for healing her, and... He did.

If she were the only one that I knew that had that same story, or a slightl veriation of it, then I might chalk it up to coincedence, but I've known at least 5 others who have had that testimony alone. Medicaly verifiable miricles.

But those types of things are easy to see when they happen, and they don't happen in ones life everyday. I'm talking about thos things that happen in everyday life. Like when you get a call from a friend at just the right time to help you get through a tough day. Or, when one of my kids gets up early, just to say goodbye in the morning, and it turns out to be a tough day, and that last hug and kiss serves as a reminder of why I get up and go to work in the morning.

I just want to remind you to take notice of the small things. There are little miricles that happen everyday, they are just waiting to be noticed.

Ultimately, I just want to remind myself to not over look the little things. I have a habit of ignoring the little things in my life, and helping people to achieve big things in their lives. That is just the type of person I am. I have to remember that I need big things to happen in my life as well, and if I want that, I need to recognize and thank God for the little things that happen every day.

Technokiddies

I love technology! I'm a tech junkie. I just wish my budget could keep up with my desire for new toys. Who knows, maybe some day.

Cell phones are wonderful inventions. They allow you to be connected virtually anywhere. If you're driving out in the middle of no where and your car breaks down, you don't have to wait for random stranger to take pity on you, you just ring up AAA and they'll come and rescue you.

The Hurricane is learning how to use the phone...

I'll let that hang out there for a second...

The Hurricane is learning how to use the phone, my wife's cell phone.

My wife's cell phone with me on speed dial #2. (#1 being the obligatory voice mail shortcut). I used to expect maybe one call a day from my wife. I also expected it to be her on the other end. Now when the name Jen pops up on my screen I have to ask myself, "Myself, is that Jen or is that the Hurricane?" Most of the time it will be... The Hurricane, just calling to say "Hi, Daddy". OR if he really wants to depress me, he says, "Hi, Dad."

First let me say this; what's up with this "Dad" stuff? He's my little boy, he's my baby, he's only supposed to call me Daddy! He's not supposed to be growing up, he's supposed to stay 5 forever, right!

Well, I know it will never happen, and he's going to grow up, but I don't have to be happy about it. Next thing you know he's going to be asking for the keys to the car to go on his first real date. I don't think I could handle that. It's not like I have girls and can at least place the fear of God Almighty in the boyfriends when they show up at the door.

I digress.

I'm glad my son loves me enough to want to talk to me regularly. That is important to me. It goes back to promises I made to my wife before we got married. I told her that I would never work a job that got in the way of my family. I would never be like my father, who I've never met, or like a lot of my friends fathers who they may as well have never met, because they were never home. I was determined that she would not be a work widow and my kids, when we had them, would know that their daddy loved them, not because of the money that the family had, but because I would take less money to spend time with them.

Now, even when I am at work and I'm away from them, the Hurricane calls me and lets me know that he misses me and loves me. THAT, my friends, makes every sacrifice I make in life for them worth everything.

Dive Deep!

Godzilla

As mentioned in other posts, I have three sons. In my last post I highlighted the personality of my oldest, and to a smaller degree my middle one.

Today, I want to introduce you to Godzilla, my youngest.

I have nicknames for all of my sons. They all are great boys, but they all can create their own unique brand of destruction. My oldest is the Hurricane. Sometimes when he walks into a perfectly clean room, with in seconds it can be destroyed. He bounces from thing to another as he reaps his destruction. He also loud and in your face, you know he's coming long before he gets there.

#2 is the tornado. He's a lot quieter than #1, for the most part. You may not hear him coming but when he wants to be destructive, watch out, he's just as destructive as the hurricane. Many times he's on the hurricanes heals to enhance the destruction that the both cause.

Now, this blog isn't about the natural disasters, this is about the baby. The bundle of sweetness that has been dubbed Godzilla.

Godzilla is a sweet boy. All three of my kids are. They all have wonderful personallities. This is not about their personalities. This about one part of their personalities that can be fun, but can also cause a headache. For the most part, they are fun.

Yesterday, my lovely wife was scrap booking with some friends. She suggested to me, in her sweet way, that I should take the boys out to eat at a particular restaraunt in the area that offers "Kids eat free" on Sundays. I thought to myself, "Myself? I could really go for a 10oz Mega Fish Sadwich with Tartar and Cocktail Sauce on a Chiabata roll." So I decided to undertake the endevour.

Let me say this, right up front. BIG mistake.

We get to the restaraunt and my oldest two, who have a pretty good grasp of the english language were told to behave and to help daddy out. They did. Afterall, this isn't a story about Hurricanes or Tornado's. However, the baby, who doesn't grasp the language yet and has a rather difficult time conveying what he wants due to the language barrier between babies and adults, didn't get the memo about behaving.

As soon as we sat down, the Godzilla roar began. He proceeded to grab silverware and play drums on the table. When I went to stop him, he just played drums on me until I was able to wrestle the silverware away. Which caused a crecendo in the Godzilla roar. (You wouldn't think that such a big noise could come from such a small body.) After, spilling his water, destroying the table and causing a ruckus you would not believe, the food finally arrived. He settle down long enough for me to strap him in the high chair and eat. There was a total of 4 minutes of bliss that allowed me to get his food prepared and eat my sandwich. Just as I was finishing up, he was finished with sitting, thus begins the roar again. At the same time I'm trying to pay the bill and my cell phone rings. I'm answering the phone, signing the check and getting Godzilla out of his high chair all at the same time. I think I grew an extra set of hands at the time, either that or I was actually loosing my mind.

Anyway, I usher the kids out to the minivan, get them strapped in to their car seets, and start down the road. I get about a mile down the road and check my wallet to make sure I grabbed the card that I had payed with, only to discover that I had left it at the restaraunt. I turned around, went back, parked the van and the waitress comes running out of the establishment (I think she was afraid I'd bring the kids back in.) She gave me my card, I appologized for the path of destruction left by Godzilla and I returned to the van. What did I find in the van? Godzilla, fast a sleep.

It was bliss! I had a little quiet for the rest of my journey, as the other two were not far behind him in slipping into oblivion.

Anyway, yesterday made me realize, I am not equiped to be a single parent and for those of you who are single parents with more than one child, God Bless You, you have the hardest job in the world. Keep up the good work.

Until next time,
Dive Deep!

Kids

I have three kids. My boys. They are 6, 3 and 1. Truly, I had never really known love until the first time I saw my oldest one. Kids are amazing.

My boys are funny, though. I think the best example of my kids happened about a year and a half ago.

We were hosting a foriegn exchange student. His name was Brian and he was from South Korea. He's a really great kid as well and we were blessed to have him in our house for the time that we had him.

Anyway, Brian was downstairs watching TV on a Saturday morning and my oldest decided that he was going to play a prank and get his younger brother in trouble. The baby wasn't born yet, but he was well on his way. My oldest went into Brians bedroom and found his wallet and threw everything in it all over the room.

Okay, that was step one in the master plan.

Step two was to set up the little brother. Remember, this is a 5 year old setting up his 2 year old brother.

My #2 was in their bedroom watching Polar Express with my wife. If you know nothing about my #2 know that he LOVES Polar Express. Anyway, #1 walks into the room and says "Hey #2, I want to show you something in Brians room." #2 wasn't going along with it, he wasn't leaving Polar Express, it was his favorite part, after all (The train was going over the ice covered lake, while they were trying to get back to the tracks to continue onto the north pole.)

Okay, Step 2 wasn't working out as well as he had planned. Hum, so do you think that would stop the plan? For an adult, it may have derailed them, but not for my 5 year old, he continued on the plan unabated. This let to Step #3.

Step #3, The Reveal.

He ran downstairs and said, "Brian, Brian, #2 went into your room and tore apart your wallet and threw it everywhere!"

Brian freaked out and ran upstairs. He was yelling, "#2, what did you do?!?!?!" He went into the room and saw the mess and was distressed.

My wife came out of the kids room to find out what was going on. Well, #1 started the story of how #2 went into the bedroom and tore everything apart.

This is when the holes in his plan started to fall apart. You see, #2 never left my wifes side and #1 ended up getting busted. I got involved when I got home a little later in the day. As my wife wove the story I couldn't stop laughing. Eventually I had to discipline him, and I had such a hard time doing it with a straight face, but I did it.

Turns out he wanted to be known as the "Good Boy", so if #2 where in trouble it would have made him look good. Flawed logic, but at least he had a thought process behind the chaos he created.

Don't get me wrong, all my kids are wonderful. And I think that as a parent we have to not take things too seriously, after all, there are very "kid" reasons that a kid does things. However, we also need to make sure that they understand when they have done things wrong.

Dive Deep!

Book Review: The Circle Trilogy (Black, Red and White) by Ted Dekker

Black By Ted Dekker is the first part of the Circle Trilogy, which highlights the adventures of Thomas Hunter. A well meaning young man who gets thrown into a world of chaos. Ted Dekker over views the book this way:

By day's end, three million people will be carriers of the deadliest virus in history. There is no vaccine. There is no anti-virus. The world's only hope is Thomas Hunter, and he has already been killed. Twice. Enter an adrenaline-laced epic where dreams and reality collide - and the fate of two worlds hangs in the balance of one man's choices.

Ted Dekker is one of my favorite authors. A point that I keep secret from no one. With this series of books Ted has created a world where you will see the amazing love that God has for you. You will go past the mundane and into the masterful. Every step of the trilogy takes you through a maze of chaos. You will traverse every emotion and in the end your soul will be laid bare and you will know that God loves you.

The books talk about "The Great Romance". Which is a way of acting out amongst each other the love that God has for us. From Choosing the bride to wooing her the Great Romance is impactful and life changing. Click the link above and take a look at Black. If you get Black, you will not be able to put it down and you will be ready to continue the story as soon as the last page is closed. So, take my advice, get Red and White at the same time, you don't want to have to wait to get the other books.

Dive Deep!

Changing the Color of a List Item's Text at Run-Time with VB.Net

Changing the Color of a List Item's Text at Run-Time with VB.Net

Today has been one of 'those' days. A co-worker asks for something that sounds easy, but in reality it becomes larger than it ever should have been. That, my friends, is a recipe for a migraine and a learning opportunity.

The issue that was brought to me was that there are 'Active' and 'Inactive' items in a DropDownList that needed to be distinct within the list. They need to be in the same list, but the inactive items need to stand out.

This started me on my fated journey. I hit Google with a vengeance. After all, it would be easier to find a solution from someone who has done it before than it would be to create my own, why recreate the wheel, right?

After being denied any good advice (though some of the failed examples that I ran across helped point me in the right direction) I finally put it to myself to perform this task on my own.

Let me start out by explaining the data that I am using. I will be using the Territories table from the Northwood database. I will be using the RegionID field to determine the color of the text.

Here is the call to the database.

Dim CONNECTION_STRING As String = "Data Source=(local);Initial Catalog=Northwind;Integrated Security=True"

Dim sQuery As String = "select TerritoryID, TerritoryDescription, RegionID from Territories"

Dim dr As SqlDataReader

Dim cn As New SqlConnection(CONNECTION_STRING)

Dim cmd As New SqlCommand(sQuery, cn)

The fun begins when we actually call the cmd.executereader.

cn.Open()

dr = cmd.ExecuteReader

Do While dr.Read

Dim li As New ListItem(dr("TerritoryDescription"), dr("TerritoryID"))

Select Case dr("RegionID")

Case 1

li.Attributes.Add("style", "color:red")

Case 2

li.Attributes.Add("style", "color:Green")

Case 3

li.Attributes.Add("style", "color:Dodgerblue")

Case Else

li.Attributes.Add("style", "color:orange")

End Select

ddlTerritories.Items.Add(li)

Loop

cn.Close()

By adding the "style" attribute to the list item, we are in effect changing the style on every member of the DropDownList as we are adding them. Granted, this method will not work with data binding, but there is no performance benefit for data binding anyway.

As the next graphic illustrates, this method delivers the desired result.

Conclusion:

Even though I was beset by frustration in trying to find this solution, in the end, the code itself was not that difficult. It is my hope that this example will save you time and frustration while helping you to deliver a smooth and effective solution to your end users.

The Magnificent, The Masterful and The Mundane

Hello All!

This is the pilot post of The Magnificent, The Masterful and The Mundane. I want to first explain the name and give a little bit of background on me, your fearless guide on the river of information.

The names meaning will become more clear in time, as I post my thoughts on life, faith and code. (I know, a weird combination.) However, as a brief description. I think life is magnificent. I know that my creator is masterful. Work can be mundane, but in the insignificant parts of the day great truth and clarity can be achieved.

Now about me, I'm a Software Developer by trade. Most of the applications that I write are web based, intranet applications. However, I do have a couple websites that I've worked on that are publically viewable. The most important to me personally is www.ffccpa.org.

But, I am not all about my career. In fact, my career is not what defines me. My definition comes from my faith and from my family.

I am a Dad and a Husband. These are the most important titles that I possess. I have been married (at the time of this post) for 9 years to the most awesome woman in the world (she has to be, she's put up with me for 10 years.) I have three of the greatest kids in the world. They are 6, 3 and 1. They truly are the joys of my life.

I am also a youth pastor and worship leader at Family Fellowship Christian Center (the above mentioned www.ffccpa.org.) We are a small church in a small town with a huge vision. If you want to be part of that vision, visit the web site and help us out.

Anyway, that is me in a nutshell. Now I need to get back to actual work.