Kicking Against the Goads

Acts 26:14–15 We all fell to the ground, and I heard a voice saying to me in Aramaic, ‘Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me? It is hard for you to kick against the goads.’ Then I asked, ‘Who are you, Lord?’ I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting,’ the Lord replied.

goad (noun)
1. A long stick with a pointed end used for prodding animals.
2. An agent or means of prodding or urging; a stimulus.

 

Ah, the ultimate image of rebellion.  It's like when a parent tells a child not to touch the hot pan, what does the kid do?  They grab it and get hurt.

Kicking against the goads is like that.  Imagine begin an ox pulling a plow.  The master is using a goad (a cattle prod, if you will.) to get you to go where he wants you to go, but you, being a rebellious and disobedient ox, start to kick.  Who do you think kicking against the cattle prod hurts?  Surely, it doesn't hurt the master, it hurts the ox.

I am a youth pastor.  Last night I saw Saul.  He was right there in front of me in the form of an 18 year old kid.  Like Saul, he had grown up in church.  Unlike Saul, he had fallen away from the faith the last few years. (Saul never fell away from the faith, he just killed Christians in the name of Judaism.) 

This young man and a friend came to the youth group for the first time last night.  They both sat in back and were as close to the door as you can possibly be.  At that point the difference between the two became apparent.

Let me explain, first, I am not a normal youth pastor.  I don't, for the most part, just get up and read a passage and talk about it.  I like to, on occasion, act out a parable or something like that.  Last night I taught on Matthew 25, the Parable of the Ten Virgins.  I had a couple girls act out the rolls of the foolish and wise virgins, and a couple guys act out the rolls of the bridegroom and the herald for the bridegroom, and I was the humble, yet exceedingly talented narrator :)

As I started the mayhem, and it was truly mayhem, this young mans friend came up and joined the rest of the group.  He was getting into the way this lesson was being taught.

Now the young man I am talking about though, got even closer to the door, and after I was done with the narrative he got up and walked out.  He came back a couple minutes later.  Sat for a few minutes and walked out again.  Rinse and repeat.

I talked to him after the class, and he apologized for leaving, but, he told me he can't handle religion.  I asked why.  He told me about growing up in church and how his mom really beat religion into him (metaphorically beat of course, not literally).  So now he is rebelling against that which his mom thrust on him.

Rebellion is a funny thing.  You think you are rebelling against bondage, but all you are doing is getting yourself bound up all the more tight.  Most of the time, the thing you are rebelling against is the very thing that could, indeed, give you freedom. 

If you are in a spiral of rebellion, I want to encourage you to step out of that cycle and make peace with that thing you are rebelling against.  It may just be the thing that sets you free.

 

Dive Deep!

Music to My Ears

There are many things that are music to my ears.

I love hearing members of my family telling me that they love me. I love hearing birds in the morning, etc., etc. These things are those that most of us love to hear.

I'm not addressing those things today. Today I want to talk about actual music.

My wife and I are on the Praise and Worship team at our church. We have actually started to record some of our original songs that we've put together over the years. So far, this has been a very rewarding pursuit, as I believe that we have put together some of the best praise and worship music out there.

Yes, several of our songs are cheesy and hokey, but most of them are not. They reflect different times in our walks and the struggles that we've gone through.

This sets the stage for something that I was able to do last night. I took the first song that we recorded (after much mastering) and created a ring tone for my cell phone! (If anyone wants it leave me a comment and I'll get you a copy of the tone.)

Now, when my phone rings, the music to my ears is my wife's beautiful singing voice and my bass (as well as everyone else on the team)!

This is exciting for me because I love what I do with the worship team. If I could make a career of playing music, I would. I am completely aware that at the tender age of 35 that I am a little past my prime as far as performing in the music industry, but it would be fun.

At least in the short term I get to hear something that I helped create every time my phone rings, and that my friends, is music to my ears.

Dive Deep,

Shaun

In Perpituity

Many people laugh at me when I tell them that I am a wrestling fan. More so in times past than I am now, but I remain a fan.

Today one of my favorite wrestlers and his family were found dead at their home in Atlanta.

Chris Benoit was a great wrestler. There was really no one else like him. He gave 100%, 100% of the time. Even when he wasn't a face, I liked him. He was, probably, the greatest wrestler to this point in history.

I know from interviews and what not that he adored his family. Today, they died, as they lived, together. I'm saddened for the extended families and the friends. I didn't know him. I don't know if I would have liked him or not, I don't know.

However, he has entertained me for years and now I am sad that he will no longer be able to do that for me and the fans that he loved.

Anyway, I just wanted to vent a little. Chris, Nancy and Daniel Benoit, we shall miss you.

**Update**
As more information about this incident come to light, I feel that I have to append this post. While nothing can lessen the achievements of Chris Benoit in the ring, I must change my stance on his family.

Here are the things I don't understand:

1. How do you look into your 7 year old's eyes and kill him? I have a 6 year old. When I look at him, I see all of the things he could be. All of the things that would make him better than me. It's my job to make sure he is in an environment that will allow him to reach his full potential. I could never do anything to hurt him, much less take his life.
2. How do you do the same thing with your wife? The woman who you loved enough to want to grow old with. The woman who went through child birth to give you your spitting image. I don't understand that.
3. How do you then take your own life? Call me a coward, but I don't think I could ever get to the point where I would seriously consider it.

As I watched the tribute to Chris Benoit last night on Monday Night Raw, I saw many wrestlers give testimony on how he effected their lives. There were a couple that were very heart warming, and a couple that were actually very revealing of the man who killed his 7 year old son, his wife and ultimately himself.

When Chavo Guerrero spoke about finding his uncle Eddie's body and then spending time with Chris before their deaths and how both men effected his life and how Chris wasn't just like family to him, he was family. That was touching.

When Dean Melenko spoke of how private and how quite Chris was, it was telling.

I don't know what happened to Chris. I don't know what he was going through personally. I don't know if there were outside influences (drugs, alcohol) involved in his decision making. Truly, I don't know.

I also don't know where he stood spiritually, I didn't know the man, but his actions give clues, even if they don't speak the whole story. When Eddie Guerrero died, he died a Christian. He had given his life to Christ a couple of years earlier and he was living for Christ. When Road Warrior Hawk died, he died a Christian. I don't know about Chris Benoit, but his actions say he was not. I don't know this for certain, I am not his judge, I will not make the judgement. Saying that, I hope that there is mercy shown to him, just as I hope that there is mercy shown to me for my mistakes.

Anyway. Chris, you murdering fool, may God have mercy on your soul.

Using Local Microsoft SQL Server Reporting Services in ASP.Net

This post has now become an article ASP Alliance. You can view it at ASP Alliance Article.

Chucky Jesus

I've highlighted my oldest and my youngest kids in prior posts. Tonight I want to focus on my middle son.

Well, as you may recall I have nick names for my three sons. The Hurricane, The Tornado and Godzilla.

The Tornado is three years old and he is one of the funniest kids you'll ever meet. He's really noisy and actually has a pretty good singing voice for a three year old.

Tonight he came to me and asked, "Can we go to Chucky Jesus?" I was floored, I was like, "Where?" "Chucky Jesus", was his reply.

"Who is Chucky Jesus?", I said.

"Chucky Jesus."

"What do you want to do at Chucky Jesus'?"

"Play."

"Ok, But who is Chucky Jesus?"

"The Mouse."

It started to occur to me that he was talking about Chucky Cheeses.

"Ok, Tornado, do want to go to Chucky Cheeses?"

"Yes, Daddy. I want to play games."

Well, next weekend we will be going to visit the big rat and playing some games. I'm looking forward to it. It's a lot of fun to watch the natural disasters and Godzilla run around that place and have a blast.

Fathers Day

This is always a weird time of year for me. I'm torn between my past and my present and there is a battle inside of me.

My past is sad, in that I've never known my Father.

My present is very happy, in that I have 3 beautiful boys of my own now.

The conflict over being a Dad and never having an example of a dad is always present on Fathers Day.

I'm not going to write a whole lot. I think that ultimately the best way to describe how I feel is to listen to the latest message from my church. Toward the end of the message, I take time away from the sound board and my recording duties to go up and talk about my past, and my present. I said it much better there than I ever could here.

Here is a link to the podcast for Family Fellowship Christian Center and the actual message.

Magesty in the Mundane

There is magesty in everyday life. Sometimes it's something big, sometimes it's taking time to notice the little things.

An example of real life, big time, show of the hand of God, in my life was when my mom was diagnosed with Uterine Cancer (at least the early stages..l pre-cancer). She had second-opinions, everything came back agreeing with the diagnosis, so she had a historectemy. The doctor who performed the historectemy said she didn't need it, as there was no trace... yes, NO TRACE of the pre-cancer cells. There was no indication that anything was wrong with her uterus at all. We had been praying for weeks, thanking God for healing her, and... He did.

If she were the only one that I knew that had that same story, or a slightl veriation of it, then I might chalk it up to coincedence, but I've known at least 5 others who have had that testimony alone. Medicaly verifiable miricles.

But those types of things are easy to see when they happen, and they don't happen in ones life everyday. I'm talking about thos things that happen in everyday life. Like when you get a call from a friend at just the right time to help you get through a tough day. Or, when one of my kids gets up early, just to say goodbye in the morning, and it turns out to be a tough day, and that last hug and kiss serves as a reminder of why I get up and go to work in the morning.

I just want to remind you to take notice of the small things. There are little miricles that happen everyday, they are just waiting to be noticed.

Ultimately, I just want to remind myself to not over look the little things. I have a habit of ignoring the little things in my life, and helping people to achieve big things in their lives. That is just the type of person I am. I have to remember that I need big things to happen in my life as well, and if I want that, I need to recognize and thank God for the little things that happen every day.